Ross Olson's Web Site

Poetry: Discipleship

If I'd Made The World

(Written after the death of infant son, Matthew)

If I'd made the world,
It would have been different.
No sorrow,
No dying,
No pain or discomfort.

If I had designed it
No children were starving,
No aged's minds fading,
No cancer nor murder,
No earthquake nor fire,
Maliciously (randomly?)
Terrorize men.

Yet so You made it.
And no one,
Not Satan,
Is sovereign o'er You.

Even chastening?

Could it not different be?
Rather be sorrow-free?

I would have taught them
In peaceful joy, sunny sky,
Quiet wind gentleness,
Stream to sea, ebb and flow.
Do You not want it so?

Ah... but of course we sinned,
So earned our consequence.
This I acknowledge,
Yet from the beginning
You know it completely.

Still You have made it thus,
Still it comes down to us.

Foolish, without restraint,
So have I made complaint.
Forgive and then teach me,
Of bitterness free me.

Then I suddenly saw Him,
He hung on a cross.
The gaze that transfixed me,
All-powerful God,
Yet touched with my anger,
Disturbed by my fear
Overflowing compassion.

"My child, my little one,
Only half grown,
All I love you
And give for you
Is not yet known.
Can you see that I love you?
Believe that it's best.
Rejoice then and trust Me,
So enter My rest."

Ross Olson

For more on the story of Matthew, see Miracles

For his mother Karin's story see "And A Sword Will Pierce Your Own Side".

Send comments to me at ross{at}

The URL for this document is