We hold these truths to be self evident:
That all woombats are created equal to most people
(and superior to some of them!)

We the undersigned therefore make the following demands:

1. Eliminate Stompers from the game of Wafting.

2. Eliminate Wafting irons from the game of Wafting.

3. Eliminate the game of Wafting.

4. Arm all wombats with switch blades and zip guns.

5. Fly the Slambiezian Flag over all Wafting fields.

If our demands are not met:

We will surround all Wafting fields with a silent circle of conscience.
And we will throw mutant sunflower seeds and other natural poisons
at all who cross our lines.

(Read at International Wafting Society Meeting MCMLXIX)

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