NARTH
National Association for
Research and
Therapy of
Homosexuality
16633 Ventura Blvd., Suite
1340, Encino, CA 91436‑1801
(818)
789‑4440
The
Causes
of
Male Homosexuality
Today, the majority of
respected scientists agree that homosexuality is due to a combination of social, psychological, and biological
factors.
Dr. Simon LeVay, the
researcher who made worldwide news after apparently discovering a difference in
the brains of some homosexuals, says,
"At this point, the most
widely held opinion [on causation of homosexuality] is that multiple factors play a role."
1
Dr. Dennis McFadden, a
University of Texas neuroscientist who has studied lesbianism,
explains:
"Any human behavior is going
to be the result of complex intermingling of genetics and environment. It would
be astonishing if it were not true for homosexuality" 2
Gay men often insist they
were "born that way" But gay activist and author Andrew Sullivan says that any
"honest homosexual" who ponders his family background from the classic distant father, overclose mother
perspective will have to admit that Freud had something perceptive to say.
In fact, Sullivan says it would be self‑deception to think of homosexuality
as inherited like hair color.3
"Gay people would doubtless
like the 'hair analogy' to be accurate, because it would enable them to avoid
the wrenching and often painful self‑analysis they would otherwise have to
embark upon. But alas, it isn't."(p.
164)… [I]t
would be bizarre if environmental influences did not play a profound role as
well. (p.
134)
Why Are the Psychological
Factors Not Acknowledged?
Why, then, has research into
the psychological factors come to a virtual standstill? Because, as Sullivan
says,
"only a few brave souls are
prepared to make this bracing case in public."
4
In fact, an investigation of
the developmental factors correlated with homosexuality would constitute career
suicide for most researchers. As Dr. Jeffrey Satinover
explains:
"The research agenda is
being distorted by the political requirement that no ...associated traits should
be discovered, and that homosexuality should be falsely presented as directly
inherited." 5
There is, in fact,
a wealth of
older, "buried" research identifying many common developmental, temperamental
and family patterns connected to homosexuality. This research has never been
scientifically refuted.6,7
"Gender nonconformity in
childhood may be the single most common observable factor associated with
homosexuality," as well as "the retrospective sense of having been different
from other children," says Dr. George Rekers, professor of neuropsychiatry at
the University of South Carolina School of Medicine.
8
The gender‑nonconforming boy
tended to avoid competition and rough‑and‑tumble play with other males, and
often felt intimidated and rejected by them. He thus missed the bonding
experiences that help create a sense of masculine identity. If the father‑son
relationship was inadequate as well (for example, through a father‑son
temperamental "mismatch" which did not meet the needs of the child), then the
boy is likely to suffer from a gender‑identity deficit.
9,10,11,12
In early adolescence, the
boy admires, romanticizes and then eroticizes this "mysterious maleness" which
he has had to observe from a distance as an "outsider looking
in."
Temperament
What characteristics would
help "open the door" for a boy to develop homosexually? Dr. A. Dean Byrd
summarizes the most common temperamental traits he has seen in his work with
about 400 homosexual men: 13
1) Interpersonal
sensitivity. There is a tendency to personalize criticism and detach from
others when hurt. As one ex‑gay man said:
"I was just more social than
other boys. I was friendly and relational. I was sensitive and less competitive
and aggressive."14
Such a boy will avoid many of the developmental challenges and "rites‑of‑passage" which, if unsuccessfully negotiated, could cause him to feel different from, or "less than" his male peers.
2)
Introspection/obsessiveness. This tendency shows itself in an obsessive
preoccupation with being different from other boys. (Interestingly, this
same principle will later operate in reverse: understanding one's gender sameness
will be a key to undoing a homosexual identification
in adulthood.) 15.16
3) Perfectionism. The
mothers of homosexual men often describe them as the "best little boys in the
world." Often they were "conforming, obedient, helpful and wanting to please,"
says Dr. Byrd. "They are not competitive with other boys, but excel
individually."
Relationship with
Father. Dr. Satinover describes the
most commonly reported father‑son pattern:
"For whatever reason, [the
homosexual] recalls a painful 'mismatch' between what he needed and longed for,
and what his father offered him. Perhaps most people would agree that his father
was distinctly distant and ineffective; maybe it was just that his own needs
were unique enough that his father, a decent man, could never quite find the
right way to relate to him. Or perhaps his father really disliked and rejected
his son's sensitivity. In any event, the absence of a happy, warm, and intimate
closeness with his father led to the boy's pulling away in disappointment,
‘defensively detaching’ in order to protect himself." 17
Has this view of the
father‑son relationship been "discredited," as gay advocates claim? Through meta
analysis of the modern empirical studies, a research team
concluded:
"With only a few exceptions,
the male homosexual declares that father has been a negative influence in his
life... There is not a single even moderately well‑controlled study that
we have been able to locate in which male homosexuals refer to father positively
or affectionately." 18
Relationship with Mother.
The
mother‑son pattern is less consistent. However, a close‑binding, intimate
mother‑son relationship has been found fairly commonly among male homosexuals,
19,20 in which the mother openly preferred the son to her
husband.
The relationship often poses
a paradox in that the homosexual man often feels better understood by his mother than anyone else in his
life‑yet in some other, essential ways, deeply misunderstood by her.
21
Whether the
bond was overclose or distant, says Dr. Gregory Dickson, it is often
characterized by ambivalence, leaving the son with an "ongoing and conflicted
need for mothering" and feelings of being both "angry and appreciative"
22
toward
her.
The Need to "Choose" Between
Parents. Gay writer Andrew Sullivan
says he:
"followed a typical pattern
of homosexual development...I had a very close relationship with my mother and a
somewhat distant one with my father... In my adolescence I warred with my father
and sided with my mother in the family fights that took place."
23
A healthy family pattern, in
contrast, would allow the boy to develop both connectedness to, and distance from, each parent. This is
necessary for the boy to eventually separate himself from his mother and
comfortably enter the masculine sphere.
"A lack of this healthy
triangulation," says Dr. Dickson, "may result in the developing boy finding
himself 'stuck' between parents, where he must choose one parent over the
other." 24
Such strife also
characterized the family life of Olympic diver Greg Louganis, as he says in his
autobiography, Breaking the
Surface. Louganis says his father
terrorized the family. Teased by his male peers as well, Louganis developed an
intense relationship with his mother as her best friend and "soul mate." But as
he grew up, he longed for what had been missing throughout his life‑intimacy and
affirmation from men – and thus his romantic attractions were
homosexual.
Siblings.
One of
the preeminent researchers in the field of male homosexuality, the late
psychoanalyst Irving Bieber, said the prehomosexual boy characteristically
suffers from:
"a continuity of traumatic
experiences with males, starting with the father. Brothers were usually feared
and hated, and the prehomosexual child had difficulties with same‑sex peer
groups, until adolescence. The consistent history of unremitting fear of, and
hostility to, other males throughout childhood has led me to conclude that male
homosexuality is basically an adaptation
to a disorder of a man's relationship with other men."
25
Early Sexual
Seduction
The boy who is developing
homosexually is especially vulnerable to sexual seduction. In fact, both peer
and sexual abuse are frequently reported. 26, 27
Olympian Greg
Louganis describes his relationship with a pedophile he met on a beach. He felt
uncomfortable about their age difference, but in a certain way, the experience
felt right:
"I kept going back for the
affection, the holding, the cuddling – more than the sex. I was starved for
affection." 28
Eroticization of an
Emotional Need
Every male has a normal developmental need for masculine affirmative
and love. Dr. Satinover explains the phenomenon in the prehomosexual
boy:
"Although he has
'defensively detached' from his father, the young boy still carries silently
within him a terrible longing for the warmth, love, and encircling arms of the
father he never did, nor could have. Early on, he develops intense, nonsexual
attachments to older boys he admires -- but at a distance, repeating with them
the same experience of longing and unavailability. When puberty sets in, sexual
urges -- which can attach themselves to any object, especially in males -- rise
to the surface and combine with his already intense need for masculine intimacy
and warmth. He begins to develop homosexual crushes." 29
The
boy may feel conflict, but through sex, he:
"cannot help admit that the
relief is immense. This temporary feeling of comfort is so profound that the
experience is powerfully reinforced.
However much he may struggle, he finds himself powerfully driven to
repeat the experience. Soon homosexual activity becomes the central organizing
factor in his life as he slowly acquires the habit of turning to it
regularly‑not just because of his original need for fatherly warmth and love,
but to relieve anxiety of any sort." 30
How Society Influences a Gay
Identity
When the sexually confused
young man is introduced to the gay community through the Internet, or perhaps a
school counseling program, the struggle is over. Now he belongs to an embracing
community. With their encouragement, he concludes:
"I was always different,
always an outsider. I developed crushes on boys from as long as I can remember,
and the first time I had homosexual sex, it just 'felt right.' So it makes
perfect sense to me that homosexuality is genetic. Finally, I stopped struggling
and just accepted myself the way I am." 31
Why is Homosexuality Not a
Normal
Sexual
Variation?
In 1973, the American
Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its list of disorders. But is
the condition truly normal?
Fifty years ago, one
clinician offered a very useful definition of "normal."
32
The wisdom of
that definition is still apparent. Very simply, normality is "that which functions according to its
design."
Let us summarize the factors
which clinicians have observed in male homosexuality which are not ‑- by such a
definition ‑- normal. Often, we see poor relationship with father; poor
relationship with male peers; difficulty individuating from mother; and an
unhappy parental marriage. There is a tendency to have avoided developmental
challenges; a sense of masculine deficit; and a persistent belief of having been
different from, and misunderstood by, other males. There remain feelings of
fear, hatred, envy and admiration toward men, with the conflicting wish to be
accepted and loved by them. 33
There is also a sense of
disconnectedness from, yet narcissistic fascination with, one's own body;
34
greater
vulnerability to childhood seduction; 35
and in
adulthood, higher rates of depression, anxiety, suicide, alcohol and drug abuse,
promiscuity, and life threatening disease 36 -- along with the characteristic inability to maintain monogamous
relationships.
In fact, gay clinicians
themselves report this characteristic non‑monogamy ‑- but they resolve this
problem by redefining it as normal for
gay men. 37
Anatomically, too, we see a
condition characterized by practices which are abnormal and unhealthy. This leads to rectal and
prostate damage, AIDS, hepatitis B, and a host of sexually transmitted disorders
which, "normally rare, grow to epidemic proportions when they enter the
homosexual population."38 Former Surgeon General Everett Koop has
stated that "anal intercourse, even with a condom, is simply too dangerous a
practice." 39
Like all other deep‑seated
identity problems with an addictive behavioral element, homosexuality is
difficult to overcome. Psychotherapy consists of understanding the emotional
roots of the attraction, strengthening masculine identification, and learning to
meet same‑sex needs for attention, affection and affirmation in a non‑erotic
manner.
In spite of the challenge it
poses, some men find the process to be a source of tremendous fulfillment. One
ex‑gay man, now married, summarizes the transition that has occurred in his life
‑- which represented both an emotional change, and a conscious decision:
40
"Today, I'd have to go
through a lot of barricades‑psychologically, spiritually and emotionally‑to get
to the point of acting on any temptation."
"I am very fulfilled in my
life. I don't want
homosexuality"
(1) Le Vay, Simon (1996). Queer Science, MIT
Press.
(2) "Scientists Challenge
Notion that Homosexuality's a Matter of Choice," The Charlotte Observer, August 9,
1998.
(3) Sullivan, Andrew (1998)
Love Undetectable: Notes on Friendship,
Sex and Survival. New York: Knopf.
(4) Sullivan, p.
107.
(5) Satinover, Jeffrey "The
Gay Gene?" The Journal of Human
Sexuality, 1996 (call 972‑713‑7130), p. 8.
(6) Yarhouse, Mark, "When
Clients Seek Treatment for Same‑Sex Attraction: Ethical Issues in the 'Right to
Choose' Debate. Psychotherapy vol.
35, no. 2, Summer 1998, p. 248‑259.
(7) Goldberg, Steven (1994).
When Wish Replaces Thought: Why So Much
of What You Believe is False. Buffalo, New York: Prometheus
Books.
(8) Rekers, George (1995). In
Handbook of Child and Adolescent Sexual
Problems, G. Rekers, ed., N.Y: Lexington Books, p.
300.
(9) Marmor, Judd (1965) Sexual Inversion. N.Y: Basic
Books.
(10) Nicolosi, Joseph (1991)
Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality.
Northvale, N.J.: Jason Aronson.
(11) Socarides, Charles
(1968) The Overt Homosexual. N.Y:
Grune and Stratton.
(12) Bieber, L, Dince, P,
Drellich, M., Grand, H., Gundlach, R., Kremer, M., Rifkin, A., Wilbur, C., and
Bieber, T. (1962) Homosexuality: A
Psychoanalytic Study of Male Homosexuals. N.Y: Basic
Books.
(13) Byrd, Dean,
"Interpersonal Treatment of Unwanted Male Homosexual Attractions: Clinical
Interventions." NARTH 1998 Collected Papers.
(14) "Interview with Jerry
Armelli," NARTH Bulletin, December
1998, p. 3.
(15) Rupp, Richard, "How
Groups Work: Coming Out of a Gay Identity, and Becoming One of the Guys," NARTH Bulletin, December 1998, p.
2.
(16)
Nicolosi,1991.
(17) Satinover, Jeffrey,
(1996) Homosexuality and the Politics of
Truth. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, p. 222.
(18) Fisher, Seymour and
Roger Greenberg (1996), Freud
Scientifically Reappraised: Testing the Theories and Therapy. New York: John
Wiley & Sons.
(19)
Socarides,1968.
(20) Bieber et al,
1962.
(21) Dickson, Gregory,
"Developmental Factors in
Homosexuality," NARTH Bulletin,
August 1998, p. 34.
(22) Dickson, 1998.
(23) Sullivan, Andrew (1995)
Virtually Normal. N.Y: Knopf, p.
9.
(24) Dickson, Gregory,
"Environmental Factors and the Development of Male Homosexuality," unpublished
doctoral thesis, Fuller Theological Seminary, 1997.
(25) Bieber, L, "Arriving at
the APA Decision on Homosexuality," in Engelhardt, H.T. and Caplan, A., eds.,
(1987), Scientific Controversies: Case
Studies in the Resolution and Closure of Disputes in Science and Technology.
Cambridge U. Press, p. 422.
(26) Doll, L. Joy, D.,
Bartholow, B., Harrison, J., Bolan, G., Douglas, J., Saltzman, L., Moss, P.,
Delgado, W. (1992), "Self reported childhood and adolescent sexual abuse
among adult
homosexual and bisexual men."
Child Abuse and Neglect
16:825‑864.
(27.) Lauman, E.O., Gagnon,
J.H., Michael, R.T., and Michaels, S. (1994). The Social Organization of Homosexuality.
Chicago: U. of Chicago Press.
(28) Louganis, Greg (1995) Breaking the Surface. N.Y: Random House,
p. 79.
(29) Satinover, 1996, p.
223.
(30) Satinover, 1996, p.
224.
(31) Satinover, 1996, p.
226.
(32) King, C.D. (1945). "The
Meaning of Normal." Yale Journal of
Biology and Medicine, 18, 493‑501.
(33) Bieber, I., "Arriving at
the APA Decision on Homosexuality," in Engelhardt, H.T. and Caplan, A., eds.,
(1987), Scientific Controversies: Case
Studies in the Resolution and Closure of Disputes in Science and Technology.
Cambridge U. Press.
(34) Nicolosi,
1991.
(35) Bell, A. and Weinberg,
M. (1981). Sexual Preference: Its
Development Among Men and Women. Bloomington, IN: Indiana U.
Press.
(36) For an overview of all
these factors, see Schmidt, Thomas
(1995) Straight and Narrow? Compassion and Clarity
in the Homosexuality Debate. Downers Grove, Ill.:
InterVarsity.
(37) McWhirter, D. and
Mattison, A. (1984) The Male Couple:
How Relationships Develop.
Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice‑Hall.
(38) Schmidt, 1995, p.
118.
(39) Hooper, Celia. "Surgeon
General Advises Doctors to Teach Patients about Condoms," United Press
International, Oct. 13, 1987.
(40) "Interview with Jerry
Armelli," NARTH Bulletin, December
1998, p. 19.